It has been accepted beyond doubt that men and women are both integral parts of society. Just like the wheels and tyres of a car. All I’m saying here is that women are like the wheels and men are like the tyres- replaceable.

There are arguments like the tyres, protect the wheel and the wheel would get bent without the tyre, but twisting a metaphor doesn’t hold. The quintessential fact is, that the tyre is pointless without the wheel... again just a metaphor.

Now, I’m no feminist or masochist, in fact I’m mostly a realist when it comes to other people. I am however vastly sarcastic, which you will notice soon enough or not, depending on how intelligent you aren’t and how foolish you are. Also read: What Happens When You Chase Your Dreams

Also this isn’t some sort of men versus women debate; it’s just my appreciation of the fairer sex. Take none of this seriously if it offends you, but do take it with a pinch of salt and see if it mends you.

1. They Create Life

I mean this rather literally. I’m simply talking about the ability to give birth. Man may have made the air-conditioner and the Jacuzzi (which are my 2nd and 3rd favourite inventions respectively) but women make men- literally. We men may contribute to the process of procreation by graciously sharing our sperm but that’s nothing close to conception! The painful yet joyous gift of giving birth as they call it, was set aside for women only.

2. Women Create Nourishment

No, this is not the "Women Belong In The Kitchen" joke, some of you might have been looking forward to. It's the truth. Also read: Delhi Versus Mumbai: The Way I See It

Let’s start with the fact that women literally produce milk. They create nourishment! There is nothing that we men produce that can compete with that. But hey... we can order delivery like clockwork! That’s got to count for something right? Well, not really.

3. They Listen

It’s an uncontested truth that women talk as much as men if not more! They definitely complain and crib in front of their spouses, as do men. However very rarely are they looking for our advice. Women usually speak to either express or to direct. Like when they want you to fix the plumbing or, change the bulb.

They could do it themselves but they’ve got men; much like the Egyptians had slaves. And guess who the pyramids belong to? Not the slaves.  Although, horse playing and jest aside; whenever a man is truly sad and filled with sorrow, he can find true solace only in the arms of a loving woman. It could be a mother, a sister, a wife or just a friend. It just has to be a woman who listens to his problems and helps him with solutions.

4. They Are Built To Rule

March a woman into a room full of men and an instant master-slave relationship is born. All men, right from the inarticulate to the suave, go into pleaser-mode.

That’s before one man manages to woo a woman. The one who manages to win the heart of the woman is victorious but few men understand what victory means. You will woo them with the promise of queenly treatment and then fail miserably trying to keep that promise. The best a man can do, is serve well till he dies. Also read: What Are You Doing With Your Life?

I think all social systems were made pro-men, by men, to ensure that this natural equation is warped. That whole “Behind every successful man is a woman who blah blah blah...” phrase basically means that women own our asses.

5. They Remember Everything

Before journals, diaries and super computers were made... there were women. They figuratively remember everything. Every mistake you’ve made, every smile you’ve brought out, every fight you started and every argument you will lose; every being the keyword there. When you’re young they are mothers who know where you socks are and what assortment of spices it takes to make the perfect chicken curry. When you go to school they remember the homework that “you forgot to do” and so on and so forth. Women remember everything!

6. They Don’t Need Men

This is perhaps the scariest fact and it is indeed stranger than fiction. A lot of men think women ‘need’ them- these men are simply in their natural state of idiotism. The appalling truth is that women don’t need men. Men have been over the ages been able to create such an illusion, using pro-men social systems. An illusion that an unfortunate section of the world’s female population falls trap to. The truth however is that women don’t need men. Tampons, Ice-cream, warm water and mirrors are more important that men are... true story. Also read: How Men Fall In Love

7. They Look & Sound Better

Most men are like huge sub-serviced, rickety trucks and sound like poorly-wired, second hand door bells. Women on the other hand are angelic creatures, as has been said time and again by poet after poet and thinker after thinker. Women are beautiful inside-out and most men like their selfies, even the ones in which they pout. (Just needed to use the word selfie for this article to be categorised as- in vogue.)

8. They Are Wiser

Women are wiser. They don’t obsess over some sort of unattainable perfection like men do. Women make multiple decisions simultaneously. Most men spend the same time making one good decision and bask in the glory of that one right move. It’s almost embarrassing to be a man at times. Women are teachers, professors, muses and more. All great men will tell you so, there’s no one as wise as a woman you know.

9. They Love Better

Men are suicidal lovers; always trying to prove a point. Being a man I find nobility is such love. Despite all the hits and misses, I still believe love has to be extreme; there is nothing controlled or average in love. Many women however have cracked this case; their love is one that strives to survive. It’s primal really; men are wild suicidal bearers of affection. This is perhaps why; when a relationship goes south men tend to cut off completely. Women however know many forms of love; they merely tinker with its intensity.

10. They are selfless

Most men are partially if not completely selfish; and there is nothing wrong in loving thyself, but most women are quite the opposite. Women are almost programmed to care for others. Being selfish may let them shine in this delusional man’s world but in their own hearts, nothing pleases a human being more than to care selflessly for others. And women are more human than men ever will be. I may be wrong though, about it all. What do I know? I’m but a man.

Anyway. This was just meant to be a sarcastic, funny and confusing read and anyone who takes these thoughts too seriously will be a fool or not.

Depending on how you react to them or don't. At the end of the day we're all human.

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