WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?
One question that plagues me at regular intervals is; what am I doing with my life? I’m going to make the reasonably safe assumption that, I speak for most people in their mid and late twenties or even more when I say this. Perhaps this can act as motivation.
Contrary to pop-perception, I wouldn’t go as far as calling this an existential crisis. There is however, this unsettling feeling of losing control, one that takes over once you discover that life isn’t as much in your control, as you’d like to believe. There are nights when, after a perfectly normal day, an unfathomable catalyst triggers a sudden barrage of soul-gnawing questions. Also Read: Quick Movie Reviews: Interstellar, Nightcrawler & Gone Girl
It doesn’t matter what questions I start with: It could be failure to do a chore I had planned, it could be the disappointment that ensues ordering bad food. Essentially, it’s when you as an independent, free-thinking adult make a decision and realize that… it wasn’t the best one. I don’t know about you but, one thing I consciously ignored or sidelined was that along with the freedom of making my own decisions comes the responsibility of living with them. Something we all think we know but we don’t…. at least not till we do.
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I noticed that, I have only two modes in life. There is the “Self-adoring, narcissistic bout of self-confidence that could cut a diamond into half like butter” mode and then there is the “Why am I such a worthless, incapable, inordinate piece of averageness!?” mode.
Somewhere between these two modes… I exist. We all do. I believe we can’t answer the “What am I doing with my life?” question, because the answer to it isn’t an answer at all…. It’s in fact; another question! Fascinatingly, I found the answer to this question and with it I found an answer. The question being- How did I get here?
This isn’t a permanent remedy but, is more like a vaccine which may work well for some. Look back at life… not to reminisce or to loath your own moves but, to look at what you did to get yourself here. I accept that, I am where I am today, because of the decisions I made yesterday. I do not mull much, over whether those decisions were right or wrong and what I could have I done better… that would be pointless. But walking down the “How did I get here?” route helped. Also Read: You Can't Have Everything!
It helped me see which of my decisions from the past directly affected where I am today! How even though I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, I didn’t and perhaps still don’t and never will. And that’s okay because I know what I want to do in the immediate future. That’s tangible… that’s more than just an unrealistic pipe dream built of over-confidence or an equally depressing, self-inflicted case of disappointment conjured by lack of self-belief. It’s very simple… what you do today, decides where you will go tomorrow. If you jog today you might be fitter tomorrow. If you eat your fill now, you’re less likely to be hungry in an hour.
This brings us to a third question. Hold on… don’t hate me for giving you more questions; good questions after all are a few and far between. Now this one is sacrosanct! It’s the one question that, we all must ask ourselves on a more than regular basis. It is: What am I doing today, to get where I wish to be tomorrow?
If that question scares you or if it’s a question that you find hard to answer… your dreams are just dreams. I accept as you should that, for dreams to be fulfilled, for them to be truly realized… I must make specific, decisive, accurate moves towards them. That is what is needed for me to infallibly reap precise and desired results. Life is not vague and unexpected as we’d like to believe. We merely use that as a shield to hide behind. Some things, if not all things in this life are within the ambit of our control. We must seize that horse’s reigns and steer it by the bridle if we truly desire for it to gallop over the canyon.